U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I look better un-naked...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
