walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
