remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
