i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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