You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
