Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I love having hate sex.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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