Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
