hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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