Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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