Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My penis needs a shock collar
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
