Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
