I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
