ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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