He is an equal opportunity slut.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
