So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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