The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize