I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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