Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
That accounts for only three of the penises
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
