I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
