there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
