oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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