why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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