Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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