Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Dear god my vagina.
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