i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
