Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
