There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
