Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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