so explain again why im purple
no
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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