Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
