I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
