I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
