her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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