I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Dicks are not precious.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
