a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
