shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
