She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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