last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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