glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
