can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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