Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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