But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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