Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
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I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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