I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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