he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Randomize
