at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
