I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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