if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
