i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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