you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
