She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you didnt know i had herpes?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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