I didn't shave. On purpose
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
