I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
