Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
