not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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