Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's blow job season.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
