Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize