Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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