we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
