The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
