I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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